Sucky Day

Today has been such a sucky day. Sucky is just the right word for it. It started out when I couldn't fall asleep last night until around 5 in the morning. I managed to get up yelling and screaming at the boys to hurry up and get out the door. They were running late and as they went out the door, our puppy, Jasmine went out with them to do her thing. She usually runs around them while they wait for the bus, then comes home and barks to be let in when she's done playing.

Since I had only had about an hour of sleep, I conked out for another few minutes of snooze time before getting up to get dressed for the dreaded meeting at the school to address (yet again) my second grader's lack of motivation, skill, knowledge, whatever is holding him back. Third year in a row that NOTHING is getting done about his education. I'm usually made to feel like I'm a terrible mother and I go home with my tail between my legs. I expected no less today.

I opened the door to let in Jasmine, but she wasn't there. I called her. Nothing. I figured she was digging holes in Grandma's garden next door and decided that was more fun that coming inside. We got in the truck and left our drive and as we approached Grandma's drive, I saw her. She was already gone. Hubby pulled over so I could check, but it was too late. I couldn't stop the tears. There was nothing I could do at that moment. I was late for the meeting at the school. So, I cried all the way there.

Once I got to the meeting, I told them what had just happened. They said they had just been discussing how great Jasmine had been for my son this summer. Oye. Took a lot to keep the tears in right then. We had education to discuss.. Which leads me to the next part of my sucky day.

My child has issues. Deep, complex issues. Among them, ADHD, ODD, anxiety, mood disorder-NOS (not otherwise specified), encopresis and enuresis. Oh, and we buried his baby brother three years ago. Not exactly something that cheers a kid up. Depression was brought up today too. Bipolar raised its head again as well. I don't care that the word bipolar was said, as a matter of fact, I have a bit of a tangent here... What's wrong with giving someone a diagnosis of being bipolar? His therapist claims that "labeling" a child with something so "harsh" would follow him for the rest of his life. Uh, yeah, isn't that the point? If a child had asthma, wouldn't you want people to know so that they could react and treat the child if he had an asthma attack? If my child does ever get the diagnosis of bipolar, I would not hide it. I have depression. Mental illness needs to have the stigma taken away so that more of us can get the help we need.

So, back to the meeting. We finally got a 504 plan signed. I asked why we keep going round and round and nothing is getting done. No screenings, no special education. Guess what I was told. Yep. My fault. I'm supposed to be sitting down with him and MAKING him do homework every night, then signing my name to the paper in his backpack, proving I MADE him. How do I make an 8 year old with these issues do anything? He poops his pants every time he gets nervous or upset. He acts out. He destroys things. I may be out of line with my thinking, but back when I was in school, the TEACHERS did the educating. Blah, blah, blah. Now I am setting a timer for 15 minutes every day after school and torturing my child to learn when obviously, he isn't. I'm supposed to follow this plan of action for 5 weeks, meet again with the school and maybe by Christmas, they'll test him for special education.

To be perfectly honest, if I didn't have to work full time, I would homeschool him. I have an 8 year old who can barely read and hates school. I have been told two years in a row that he can't do any work without one on one assistance. Oh, how he would thrive if I could homeschool him and give him that one on one, but alas, I'm a slave to the establishment. Meaning I need my job to fund my internet addiction. Not really. Wait, yeah, I would work for bandwidth if I could.

Now to round out my perfectly dreadful day. Came home, took puppy out to the farm and gave her a beautiful final resting place. Took a nap for about an hour before the kids came home and I had to break the news to them. Tortured the boy with reading for 15 minutes (lots of whining, crying and telling me he didn't know the words). Then it was off to work...

My day ended with a horrendous busy day. An hour after I get there, a woman pees the floor while waiting in line for the restroom. I had the pleasure of mopping up her piss. I'm seeing the comedy of it all now, but in the moment, I was begging for hazard pay.. in my head.

Tomorrow is a new day. Let's hope all of my sucky stuff is over now. And I really, really miss my little dog. *sniff*